25 Years,25 Lessons: A personal Odyssey.

 

'Happy twenty fine'

'The big two five'

'Your frontal lobe is now fully developed'

'The dates are now going to be a bit serious, you know. They will start asking to meet parents and have kids'

'So, when are you planning to further your education, twenty five is perfect'

Just but a few of the birthday messages I got two months ago when I turned twenty-five. I was too busy trying to transition to a new place and getting the hang of a new job to even internalize anything I was being told.

A bit settled now and two months into my new age and it is honestly the right time to take a look back at this new age. Birthdays are such a huge deal to me. Growing older is a blessing, honestly. Another year to get better at anything you want. Gosh, I am already looking forward to my next one.

Disclaimer; Anything I say from here is my opinion based on my experiences. The lessons I will share are filled with a lot of personal bias but I hope you can relate with one, two, or even all of them.

There are some lessons I have picked along the way that I'd like to share. So here goes everything.

You Are Not Supposed To be perfect.

I have learned that grace is something I need to extend to myself. I am not perfect, no one is. This was my first lesson as it spirals down,360 degrees in my life. Acknowledging that has allowed me to make mistakes, forgive myself, and work towards becoming a better version of myself.

You Are Still Very Young.

A statement from my old man. Every year you turn is new, you have never been here before and there is so much ahead of us. We are literally not running out of time. Each year is a chance to get where we want to be and not time ticking away because you are getting late to be where you want to be.

You actually Have To Read in Uni.

My early twenties were basically me in Uni. In high school, they had told me that uni is easy. They said you don't have to read. It is all fun and games until you have a course like NeuroPsychology. I am here to say that it was all a lie. There was no way you could pass those examinations without putting in the work.

You need to work hard and have impressive transcripts. If you want to go abroad and get into good schools, you have to put in the work.

Your Body Will Change, Again.

You actually think you have your body changes through puberty but there is no end. You may gain weight or lose it.

You see yourself in the mirror and you suddenly notice you have even bigger thighs, rounder hips, and a bigger chest. How it happened, you have no idea. It just happened.

It is inevitable you know, it comes with age. I however hope you realize that who you are has nothing to do with your body changes. Love your body through its different seasons.

How you look is not equivalent to your worth as a person(I feel grown up saying that).

Your Parents Are Only Human.

Your mom is just a girl.

Your dad is just a boy.

They are experiencing life for the first time, figuring it out. They have dreams and goals. Just like you. So extend grace, a lot of it.

Sobering Up, Financially.

You learn something called budgeting. All of a sudden you have to save and plan accordingly. You have to actively get all the financial knowledge you can to secure your future.

Community is Really Power.

The saying stops being a saying and you soak in its depthness.Things will happen. You will need some of those university /high school/village/estate friends in times of joy and sorrow. They will connect you to opportunities. They will have kids and you will be called auntie and uncle. They will need an MC and you will be called because they will remember just how bubbly you are and effortlessly funny. You will have medical emergencies and they will come through for you.

You get a very different view of what community really is, especially that around you.

Shoot For The Stars.

You will want to aim even higher. You have already seen what is possible in the world and you will want to do the very best for yourself. You will want to be a Cross Fitter, hike Mt.Kenya, do solo trips, open a YouTube channel, do it all. What's the worst that can happen?

Journal.

Life is a lot and we need outlets. Write down how you feel and what you want.

“Write what disturbs you, what you fear, what you have not been willing to speak about. Be willing to be split open.” Natalie Goldberg.

“Journal writing is a voyage to the interior.” Christina Baldwin.

Rest Is As Important As Work.

Take as many breaks as you can to rejuvenate. You are the most important thing here, not that work. You deserve to rest without feeling guilty.

Self Care Is Quite Broad.

Self-care even includes cutting off people who are detrimental to your mental health. You have to actively and intentionally take care of your mental, physical,emotional, physical, and even spiritual well-being.

Kids Are Actually Expensive.

Yeah, baby fevers just don't hit the same anymore. There is more than just cuteness and hearty baby laughs. They need food, care, diapers, and even education plans and that is quite a lot.

But errm the kids are still so cute!

Some Friendships Will End And Others Will Start.

The friend circle narrows for some and widens for others. There is literally nothing wrong with it. It is part of growth. I have friends who are doing so well abroad. I have some who got married. The friends will choose to be in friendships with people who identify with their issues more. I have others who have extremely busy schedules. I would want to see them as often as I can but it is just not possible. It is still alright. We are all growing differently.

You Will Have To Show Up For Yourself, No Matter What.

I still have a hard time with this one. I have however had to show up because life sometimes does not consider how you feel. Just show up for yourself.

It is hard,  I sometimes want to shut away the world, but life doesn't stop, does it?

There Is Nobody Who Has Everything Figured Out.

I realized this late. kinda. During my internship,  I had a supervisor who was well seasoned in his field. We went out in the field and as usual,  I was working under him. This day, however, he handed the assignment to me and told me to do it. He put so much trust in me.

Now I was convinced he wanted me to prove myself but at that point, he said, he needed my help with it.

I have seen this concept across different situations.

Myself still, I am still figuring things out even as of now.

Noisy Places Are Irritating.

Noise becomes a disturbance. The loud music.The loud people. It becomes really exhausting. Your transition from a person who loved the loud music in Nganyas to a Citi Hoppa kind of person.Ha.ha.

Closed Mouths Don't Get Fed.

You will need to advocate for yourself. You will have to toot your own horn especially when gearing towards things you want.

You snooze, you lose.

Difficult Conversations Are Good.

My most difficult conversation was when someone borrowed my mind on pro-life and pro-choice. You will need to have these conversations. The conversations give you so much insight into the issues and even make you know the other person even better.

Kindness Is Never Wasted.

There is so much abundance in the world when you are kind. Just be kind to others in terms of how you talk to and even treat them.

Comparison Will Steal and Siphon Your Joy.

Everyone is on their journey. You cannot be behind on your own life journey. There is literally no reason to self-compare.

No Is A Complete Sentence.

You do not need to over-explain.

No is enough and it should be respected as is.

There is Nothing Silly About Hobbies.

Nothing little or stupid about your hobbies.Chase them, all of them.

Take Care of Your Inner Child.

Acknowledge your inner child and hold him/her tight. Buy her flowers, huge teddy bears, and legos. Heal your inner child.

As a small child,  I used to admire my aunts in wigs, heels, and perfume. I am not to be blamed for the collection I am trying to get my inner child.

Heartbreaks Are Not The End Of the World.

Heartbreaks suck. Just cry, and soak in the feeling.

But it is not the end of you, you are so much more.

You Will Love Again.

I am still trying to get the hang of the whole concept of what really is.

But I have to admit, it is a great feeling. Beyond the flowers, dates, trips, and all, feels great to find someone who cares for you on that level.

You will find it and even more.

Love is also in friendships, family, and even pets. Such a high chance for you to get it!

Bonus

Outsource Help.

You do not have to do everything by yourself. Take shoes to the cobbler to be polished. Get a mama fua to wash your clothes, clean your house, and meal prep for you. Get that gadget that will make your life easier.

I will keep coming back to these lessons because I still need to carry them over to the next one.

I hope the next birthday I will be having even more!